I'd love to travel back in time
to retrieve what I lost,
to get back what was mine.

My past is a black hole
full of anger and hate.
I'd like to go back, fix it,
and undo my fate.

My past is a black hole
full of stupidity
and lots of hurt folks
who'll never forgive me.

My past is forgotten, filled with pain,
much was lost, little was gained.
I'd love to do it over again.

But first I'd take a time-trip through history.
Dinosaurs, pyramids, Titanic mysteries.
I'd dine with queens and kings,
fuck harlots and steal things
to bring back and sell — I'd make a killing!

I'd start at sunset on the ancient Serengeti,
as trilobites evolved into lions.
Then up to Egypt to see the first sea ships,
and hear all the new slave girls cryin'.

I'd climb up the Tower of Babylon,
watch mighty legions put their armor on,
listen to their choirs sing terrible songs
about how their enemies are always wrong.

Then over to Rome,
the barbarians' home,
crusaders and whores and piles of bones,
then over to Germany to see the first artillery
and hear all the young soldiers moan.

Along the way I'd:
 • watch as the geniuses screw up the world!
 • watch as the experts plead to be heard!
 • watch as the rulers destroy their own lands!
 • watch as the scientists turn lushness to sand!

I'd like to witness science's gradual history:
alchemy transformed into chemistry;
the rantings of mystics transformed
into statistics, ballistics and physics.
Astrology evolved into astronomy
which evolved into spacecraft
headed for Alpha Centauri.

History's nothing but people killing one another,
first the father, then the mother, then the sister, then the brother.
History's bunk, written by winners,
conveniently omitting the losers and sinners.
History's nothing but propaganda,
a record of trauma and drama, none of which matters.
Ink stains on rotting paper
and digital files fading to vapor.
Stories omitted or twisted into lies,
exaggerations of purpose, exaggerations of size,
blaming the victims and the losers who died.
Ever-increasing strata of deposited semen
indicate billions of sex crimes, very few reasons.
Orgasmic screams lost in the echoes of time.
History's nothing but pillage and rape,
Marauding armies waging wars for my mind.

My memory is a distant place
that I can never visit.
All I can do is watch who I was;
all I can say is, "Fuck it."